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28-Aug-2017 02:53

Your thought process is probably they’ll text you right back with, “Hey, I’m falling in love with you, come bang.” But that’s never what happens. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with a drunken hookup, but again, it’s all about the finesse. But when you’re drunk and lonely, you’ll go for whoever is in your phone. Instead of panicking, keep in mind that our bodies aren’t machines.

What usually happens is they’ll either ignore you because they’re sleeping, they’ll poke fun at you for being drunk, or they’ll text back something like, “uh, hey” which leads to a very awkward text conversation. Orgasms come (pun intended) when we don’t force them.

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You’ve maybe had a few many martinis and you figure, “Hey, if Don Draper had a cell phone, he’d be doing the same thing.” Here are some drunk texts you should never send (but everyone has). A lot of these bad decision drunk texts are gonna involve an ex, because when we’re vulnerable, we like to go back to what’s familiar and comfortable. And you think that texting your ex a little “I miss you” will get them fired up to send back, “Me too, let’s get married, I’m sorry for everything.” It’s not gonna work.

You bet your sweet bippy you do, and you’re using it to send some bad texts.

If you want to address someone who’s done you wrong, by all means go for it — when you’re sober, and less aggressive.

The text: “Heeeeeeeeeeeeeey” The recipient: Your crush.But don’t start a fire just because you like to watch things burn.